Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Facebook 101

Collected from recent FaceBook 101 updates of a friend of mine.


  • Keep your personal drama problems off of Facebook.
  • Do not write an ambiguous post just so the first commenter will have to ask, "What do you mean?"
  • Learn how to use the privacy features of Facebook and DO NOT leave your profile open to the public.
  • Do not post or comment if it will get you in trouble with your significant other; Offending others is OK, if you are really prepared for the backlash.
  • Block people you know who do not like you, before they blast your wall.
  • If you have to become a fan of something before you can see it, it is ALWAYS an advertisement...(or worse, a virus).

Personal drama problems

You are angry now, but do you want your friends to know you are angry now, when they read the update tomorrow, or next week?  Will you still be the same angry?  Check EVERYONE on your friends list, do you want those work buddies asking about this?  Also, if someone ELSE tries to get you to engage in personal drama over Facebook, use anything BUT Facebook to engage them back; visits, phones and e-mails are all better ideas.

Ambiguous post

Here's an example: "Oh my, I'm so excited about what just happened"
So now the first sucker has to say "What just happened?"  Just add the next sentence.  It's OK if you add the rest as the first comment, just don't leave your friends hanging. Such a waste of their time.

Privacy Features

Facebook has a lot of privacy settings.  They change every three months or so.  Learn what they mean, and learn to use them.  Most likely, you do NOT want everybody who knows your name to be able to see every update you've made.  Setting all share defaults to "friends only" is pretty reasonable.  Take extra care to check what you are sharing with Facebook's advertising engine.  If you let it, it will use your friend's Facebook pictures to try to sell you products.  As importantly, it will try to use your picture to try to sell products to others.  Also keep in mind that even though the settings are there, and they work today, always expect that at any moment everything you ever say might accidentally end up on some search engine because someone with access left a door open.

Don't Anger Your Significant Other

This should be obvious.  It is OK to piss people off, if you are willing to deal with their real-world emotional response.  However, it is never a good idea to piss off your significant other, or by extension, anybody you live with.  These are the people who can find you in your sleep.  Also, they are most likely to make your thoughtless post a "Personal Drama Problem".  If they do, try not to get into it.

Block Enemies Before they Drama on You

Your friend and you just had a really nasty disagreement, and you are not going to patch it up.  Block them quickly.  The last thing you need is some frenemy posting their new "Personal Drama Problem" on your wall.

Know What You Are Clicking "Like" On

Your oldest most trusted friend writes on your wall, "This video of a helpless baby seal being beaten with a club made me cry, check this link." So you click the link and are presented with a page that says, to see the video, first click "Like" (or "Enable this App", or "Become a Fan").  As soon as you click OK, guess what automatically gets posted to every one of your friend's walls in your name?  If you guessed, "This video of a helpless baby seal being beaten with a club made me cry, check this link," you are ahead of the game.  You haven't seen it yet, but you just told all of your friends it made you cry.  How sweet.  Of course, the video may or may not be of a baby seal at all, and is very likely to be an ad for "H3rbell V146R4".

4 comments:

  1. Love the expansions. You really captured the intents

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  2. Thanks, "The Bernsteins". If I expand it it's "research" not "plagiarism". ;-) Thanks for the source points.

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  3. Vahl here.

    Those Facebook privacy settings are a lot of work. Who has time for that? And why do we subject ourselves to Facebook changing their privacy settings every three months, anyway?

    Reasons I use Facebook (ongoing process):
    - Great way to find long-lost friends (a free version of Classmates.com)
    - Some friends and family members use Facebook as their Inbox
    - Good way to update everyone on important personal events

    I've learned to tolerate Facebook. I wish more people used Google Profile, but that's not happening.

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  4. Reposting a classic, just because: http://bit.ly/pi37H

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